CHICKPEA SEWING STUDIO

This could have been a day of epic fails but it all turned out ok. Let me explain...

Seminal reason for things not getting accomplished:

I found a new fanfiction author (an actual author). Her pen name is Bedelia. She write equally compelling Harry Potter and Twilight stories that will keep up well past your bedtime.

Oversleeping makes getting to the pool on time for the geriatric water aerobic class I have been taking with J impossible, "Let's go running" instead I told myself (ha!). Raining sheets for hours and the will to move going with it down the drain.

I swear sometimes the first step outside is the hardest. But once it's over with  the second and third bring immediate glee ( or is it relief?). Since I don't believe in motivation through looking at skinny people on Pinterest I went to itunes instead for some new music and got to this song the round about way:

Apparently it's quite popular but I am significantly out of touch these day that it is new to me.

More on the "thinspiration boards" or where I express a strong opinion for the first time and over-share.

I had the shock of my life this week when I discovered what 'Pro-Ana' means. The least amount of effort yielded dozens of well taken care of / regularly updated blogs spewing  all sorts of pure garbage!

I know it's the first time I ever take a position of any kind on my blog but you see when I was 17-18 I became severely anorexic; it was only through the vigilance of my mother and at her great expense that I got better, relapsing a few time in the years following the first crisis. Getting better from such a mental illness is arduous, but it can be done, you just have to make a choice before you do your body too much harm. For example my bone density is not very good and I most likely hurt my teeth very badly and got many more cavities than sugar would have inflicted alone. I used to dance Ballet every week night now I will never see one again. I do not read Vogue or buy fashion magazines EVER. I used to cut them up and tape them on the board by my bed, a cro-magnon type pinterest board. Now I divorce any clothe that don't make me feel pretty. I purposefully choose curvy role models and quit going to any gym class where mirrors can be found (this explains the geriatric aqua gym, those ladies are too funny!). I am not happy about my body everyday but since I started running which is admittedly very recent I have a new found respect for what I didn't know it could do. See, respect is what is missing when you starve yourself, self-loathing takes its place instead.

Having a child, turning 30 then 31, 32, 33... (did I say having a child?) helped tremendously, it's about focusing outward and cutting yourself a whole lot of slack. I am getting off the soapbox now but keeping it close by just in case. I will leave you with this picture of my son taken yesterday afternoon just after he fell asleep in my harm while I was reading the most sleep inducing book about space shuttles out loud: